自分の考えていることを書いてみるのは、よい事ですが、書き上げたら、他の方にもみてもらうと、とてもよい勉強になります。
前回取り上げた、高校生の方の英作文を、すこし手直ししてみました。
(No)
I don’t think it is a good idea for children to have cell phones for the following two reasons; addiction and contents.
First, cell phones are addictive. We often see young people walk just looking at the small screen of smart phones. It is dangerous and not good for eyes. Still they cannot stop that. Why not? It is because cell phones will damage our sense of judgement. We often cannot stop playing or using phones. This is a clear sign of addiction. This is a very dangerous feature of cell phones.
Second, the Internet provides us with too much violence scenes or pornographic scenes. Sometimes children access risky websites. On the Internet, there are a lot of websites related with criminals or gangsters.
For these reasons, I claim that children should not have cell phones.
内容としては、よくあるものですが、とりあえず、自由英作文として、整理してみました。